Wednesday, May 5, 2010

and speaking of onanism...


i once posted on 'pern-tang's wall: "poetry is masturbation."
he then sent me a Gob-link, a Bl-ink, if you will.
after a month with the Bulb, I have this to say:
poetry is masturbation.
let me count the ways.

(using the Glob as an example)

1) self-serving
2) happens every day
3) sometimes several times a day
4) sometimes someone notices and comments
5) sometimes no one notices
6) sometimes you're struck by inspiration, what i call The Fever
7) sometimes you force it, and it gets tedious, jejune even
8) it's more fun if you have somewhere to be in, like, a half hour
9) it's more fun if you're doing it when someone leaves you alone for a few minutes but could be on their way back RIGHT NOW
10) inconvenient when you're at work
11) better if you put the porn on mute
12) way more fun with booze
13) difficult to execute on acid
14) way more satisfying if there's a sandwich coming after
15) sometimes you wish you hadn't
16) sometimes you reflect on it and think "really?"
17) if you lose control, you can always go back and edit that bit out
18) like a bicycle
19) annoying if you do it too much and make people listen
20)...i like to do it

what did i forget?

3 comments:

  1. 21.) Makes you cry
    22.) Presents a choice between rhythmic and arhythmic execution
    23.) I think Yoko Onanism could be a mystical sexual religion
    24.) Only whores can make money off of it

    ReplyDelete
  2. 25) prolific: not necessarily good

    ReplyDelete
  3. 26) i didn't do it for 10 days in israel and now that i'm home i'm a little bit afraid to
    27) one roommate in israel did it on the very first night of the trip in a small shanty of a hotel room in jerusalem. the poetry was inferred.

    ReplyDelete