Amidst the excitement and flourish of our papers emergence in the field and putting the boys at The Times out of joint we bring you yet another insight into the current Crimean crisis; this time circulating around 8g and the LHC.
It appears that particles of 8g offshoot have entered the Large Hadron Collider and that Dostoyesvsky, the Physicists and Walt Whitman are all cowering in the hope that the Brylcreem'd hero of the piece, a goblin-sympathiser, Raskolnikov, who is putting pressure on a variety of international interest groups, including that other eminent, but reactionary grouping the new "Tea Party" to devise a resolution as a result of the fall-out caused by these conflicts.
Sarah Palin has been quoted as saying: "As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border."
We urge readers to remain vigilant.
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