a plea for 8g

Horton Hears a Who. big Alice falls through looking-glass, lands in box of dryer sheets in 1990s Taiwan.

lest we forget, in our efforts to appear multidimensionalists (that's what i judge The Bulb to be, and i'll stand fast against any attempt to educate me otherwise!), that we're hypocritically overlooking the plight of Microscopic Dimension 8g (that's the preferred term, as requested by 8g. no word yet on how Savin 17v or Dorsal 4 feels about 8g's blatant disregard for dimensional nomenclature, but as soon as the other Microscopic Dimensions contact us, we'll issue a retraction in bold type--size extra large--and pick a more appropriate umbrella term. For now, we're lumping it all under 8g.)

we in the Known Universe are inadvertently destroying 8g. how could we know that aerosol spray cans--those culprits of bad hair in the 80s--are the very wormholes between that world and ours? each day we rip bits of 8g from the fabric of its plane and force it into our atmosphere. (something about the quick change in the chemical compression--we're not sure yet how it works.) now that we know, let the guilt trip begin!

hairspray, dustoff, shaving cream--we're all responsible. tread lightly with your carbon feet, you monstrous usurpers of dimensional sovereignty, you hegemonic brigands! we know not what balance we tip in this, our selfish desire for stiff hair, clean keyboards and smooth chins!

even i am at fault. yes, i felt my own hand waver on this very day! this 31st of March, this day when spring looms with its bare legs and its temperatures above 50. this day, when i've left my coat at home and bared my arms for the first time in 2010. this day, when balding men whisper lewd things in line at the coffee stand or men with accents make passes in broken english while their peers hover close by in the subway stairwell. on THIS day, when i longed to shower them all in spritzes of saving mace, it was the thought of 8g (and more, the shame that came after) that softened my wrath.

(an interdimensional flow of ideas? "you're blowing my mind, frank.")