stoned thoughts with jooooon

let's return to our bulbous gold gobliny origins

like poeticizing salmon

instead of merely facing their general direction a couple times a day

like lapsed muslims

you know what i mean

when i say

that it's time for

STONED THOUGHTS WITH JOOOOON

and we're off

FIRST THOUGHT

what the fuck is up with british people saying "bloody" all the goddamn time? isn't that kind of a fucked up thing to do when you think about it? right? like, "the bloody train is late again!" i'm imagining in my head like a fucking euro bullet train coming down the tracks full throttle with blood dripping down its walls and shit and all these eviscerated corpses lying around on the train and demons hanging out the windows with their mouths open gathering air like hellhounds. SOUNDS LIKE A SHITTY TRAIN TO ME. also "bloody hell" is also kind of fucking disturbing to throw into everyday conversation, FYI, brits. jesus, you brits.

SECOND THOUGHT

know what freaks me out? guys whose clavicles are so long and bony and they're so fucking thin these guys that the bones stick up through their shoulder like a solid fucking inch straight up into the air and it looks like they're wearing some pointy bone armor. that grosses my shit out, to borrow from common parlance. that's the clavicle that does that, right? i can't tell on myself personally cause i look like a normal fucking human being. my bad i guess.

THIRD THOUGHT

oh man i totally just thought of a great third thought but i forgot it

EDIT: fuck i just remembered

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE 115 COLONISTS AT ROANOKE!!!!!!!