THE WORD OF TODAY

HERE AT THE WORD OF TODAY (FORMERLY OF THE DAY), OUR INSPIRED STAFF IS GIVEN EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO NOT DO WORK.

IN OTHER PARTS OF THE WORLD, FAITHFUL BLOG READERS (BLEADERS) NEVER GET THE CHANCE TO IMPROVE THEIR VOCABULARY. SO QUIT YOUR YAPPIN'.

"FUCK A DOLLAR AND A DREAM." - BIG E. SMALLS.

TODAY'S WORD IS FOUNDLING.

n. an infant that has been abandoned by its parents and is discovered and cared for by others.

ORIGIN Middle English: from FOUND (past participle) + -LING, perhaps on the pattern of Dutch vondeling. (EDITOR'S NOTE: I WAS ONCE VODENLED BY A DUTCHMAN. EH HEH)

DISCOVERED IN THE CIDER HOUSE RULES BY JOHN IRVING

JOHN IRVING'S SENTENCE (JIS): "They saw their childlessness as entirely God's decision and agreed that God had meant for them to find a foundling and educate him in the methods of self-support and self-improvement, for which the foundling would be broadly rewarded by inheriting the young couple's pharmacy, and with it the means to care for them in their apparently eagerly anticipated old age" (252).

ELI HALPERN'S SPECIAL GUEST SENTENCE (EHSGS): "Clean up after thyself, Hortense! Your turds be not foundlings for me to fetch and coddle till they harden (at which point our groundskeeper may sweep them free of the tulips if he list)."

JOHN IRVING BONUS QUOTE (JIBQ): "Adolescence," wrote Wilbur Larch. "Is it the first time in life we discover that we have something terrible to hide from those who love us?" (99)